Democrat president elect Barack Obama announced today that Ellis Island - the beacon of freedom that millions of immigrants have passed through on their way to better lives of freedom in America - is being moved to the border with Mexico.
Democrat president elect Barack Obama announced today that Ellis Island - the beacon of freedom that millions of immigrants have passed through on their way to better lives of freedom in America - is being moved to the border with Mexico.
"I didn't seek to become president of a bunch of white, honest, hard-working Americans of European descent. Ever noticed how many of them don't have brown faces like me? Not nearly enough," Obama told a hispanic voter focus group.
"The evil, bad, mean President Bush - I bet his family came from Ireland or something," Obama told the group. A translator conveyed the message to the group who laughed.
So under his new plan, the Statue of Liberty is to be renamed the "White Chick with the Welfare Checks" and her tablet that had the famous inscription, "Give me your tired..." will now read "Amer-exico - Muy Bueno."
Furthermore, Obama promised them drivers licenses, jobs, free houses, free healthcare, a revolving line of credit for landscaping tools, and to some, cabinet posts.
Obama cautioned the group that there was a price to be paid for this. "You've got to, first of all, swear your undying allegiance to the Supreme Dictator For Life, King Bar'ack Hussein Obama. And you have to get your families at home to vote for other democrats."
An aide whispered into Obama's ear that foreign nationals in Mexico aren't eligible to vote in US elections when they both looked at each other and said, "Constitutional Amendment!" simultaneously. Both burst out laughing.
An elderly woman got up to excuse herself, only to find the exit was locked.
"Make with the pesos, gringa," Obama sneered. The woman gave Obama her purse.