Democrat president elect Bar'ack Hussein Obama will impose a waiting period on the purchase of shoes.
"I'm not even sure why people need shoes. In the muslim countries where I was born, raised, and trained politically and religiously, shoes are evil," Hussein Obama said.
"Bush has been a friend to the muslim world by liberating over 50 million people, and astutely pointed out that the reporter who threw a shoe at him would have been summarily executed under the dictatorship of my cousin Saddam Hussein. Still, since I plan to meet without preconditions with murderous tyrants like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, well, the next thing you know, they'll be throwing shoes - no, boots - at me."
"I oppose all forms of personal protection like gun ownership. So after I repeal the 2nd amendment, I'll impose a waiting period on the purchase of shoes.
Hussein Obama went on to further explain how the changes will affect citizens. "The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, or ATF, will now be known as the ASTHFC - Alcohol, Sandals, Tobacco, Heels, Firearms, and Clogs. The ICE or Immigration and Customs Enforcement will be known as ICSBE - Immigration, Customs and Sling-Backs Enforcement. And the Border Patrol has orders to let all illegal immigrants in, even Islamic terrorists who are sneaking in over the Mexican border. But their shoes will be taken up. I repeat, their shoes will be taken up. Desparate times call for drastic measures.
"Also, I'm starting a public relations campaign, 'Give Shoes the Boot!' It will star a little cartoon character like that kid in 'Boondocks.'
Hussein Obama will appoint a cabinet level post to address the issue. "And of course, the 'shoe czar' will be none other than Imelda Marcos. She's a corrupt dictator who lived in luxury while millions starved, so she'll do great."
Hussein Obama stated that he and his family were exempt from the waiting period.
"Many of you have pointed out how government schools are good enough for the proletariat but not for my kids Sasha and Malia. They'll be attending private school. Likewise, me and my elitist, Ivy-league family will receive all of the shoes we want. After all, that's only fair.
"So you'll be relieved to know, once again, that I am not a hypocrite."
Hussein Obama couldn't resist a parting shot at Bush. "I'm not sure how all of this is Bush's fault. When I figure that out, I'll alter history to let you all know."